Thursday, August 26, 2010

I Didn't Do Anything Wrong! This Is What It's For!

This post is for all the wives and girlfriends out there who have been disappointed to discover that their husbands and boyfriends look at online porn. Today, I'm going to prove to you that it isn't their fault that they look at online porn.

The fact that you ladies have to get comfortable with is that the Internet is made for porn. All Web sites, in one way or another, lead to porn sites. Don't believe me? Here's an example.

Your husband (let's call him Jim) innocently wants to check headlines, what the stock market is doing, and sports news. Jim goes to msn.com. Jim sees that miners are trapped in northern Chile, stocks are down, and that Kim Kardashian is dating another NFL player. Intrigued by who the player might be, Jim clicks on the link for this story.

Jim sees that the player is Cowboys receiver Miles Austin. He also sees another link for a gallery of Kim Kardashian photos. So Jim checks that out next.

As Jim's looking at the photos of Kim on the red carpet and in skimpy bikinis, he thinks, "This is a tease. Wait. Wasn't she in Playboy? Didn't she make a sex tape?" Jim then sees a list of links at the bottom of the page. One is for a site devoted to Kim Kardashian pictures.

The site has Kim's Playboy pics, but Jim is a little disappointed with them (any guy who has seen her pictorial will agree that it wasn't all that revealing). But at the right of the page is yet another link. This one leads to a video of Kim's sex tape. Jim thinks, "Well, I'm here," clicks the link and WHAMMO, he is on a porn site.

As you can see, Jim's Web viewing started innocently enough. Just checking to see what's going on. A mere four or five clicks later, and he's on a site that has videos that are illegal in Kentucky, Kansas, and Utah. Guys can't be blamed for this. Everyday news sites plant the seeds for porn with their little links on scandalous hot female celebrity news. We quickly go from "Katy Perry tweets about Gaga" to "Jenna Jameson gets fully corrupted." Totally not our fault. The Internet is designed this way. Damn you, Tim Berners-Lee, you dirty British bastard.

AZT

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