With apologies to Jane Lynch, I really couldn't care less about Glee. And I've tried. I've watched that show several times, thought it was smart and amusing, but I just can't get into it. Maybe I'm brain dead, but I'd much rather watch Wipeout on a Tuesday evening. After dealing with work, public transportation, and a 20-month old, there is very little I would rather watch than helpless contestants get battered on a well-padded obstacle course. Of course Wipeout lacks the humor of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (which featured correspondent Guy LeDouche and the ever-present contestant Babaganoosh), but someone getting slammed in the testes is good for a chuckle all the same.
Do you think that increased use of iTunes and MP3s will eliminate my favorite music package, artists' greatest hits collections? - Rick Lazzo, Nevada City, CA
Probably, but you shouldn't worry about this. Greatest hits albums are a bloated market anyway. Damn near every band or singer has one, although I can't imagine how most acts have enough "greatest hits" to fill a whole album. The record industry should develop some kind of criteria to prevent this. Like, if you only have a hit or two, you don't get a greatest hits. Sorry, Motels and the Human League, but you have no business putting out greatest hits packages. The best they could hope for would be to be on a "Greatest One-Hit Wonders of the Spring of 1982" collection.
If you could take another profession at this point in your life, what would it be? - Chrystal Kratal, Bend, OR
I'd like write one episode of several Nick Jr. shows to amuse parents. The more I see of these shows, the more they drive me crazy. My wife and I really try to limit our daughter's TV time, but sometimes I need her to be distracted. So I'll put on Nick Jr. to keep her in the living room while I cook or whatever. So here are a few very brief ideas on episodes I'd do. (With apologies to all non-parents, this will make absolutely no sense to you. Please go take a nap or do something with your complete non-kid freedom instead of reading this.)
Ni Hao, Kai-lan - YeYe is revealed to have informed on Kai-lan's parents, and their status as political prisoners finally explains their absense from the show. Kai-lan, Tolee, and Hoho help Rintoo learn how to keep his mouth shut.
Dora the Explorer - Dora accidentally discovers a drug cartel's jungle operation. It gets ugly from there. Boots meets an untimely fate. Benny the Bull becomes a mule for the cartel.
The Fresh Beat Band - The rest of the band weighs options on how to handle Twist's undeniable addiction to Ecstacy, which has only exacerbated his nonstop voice cracking.
The Wonder Pets - The duck and the turtle conteplate the future of the team after the guinea pig comes out as a lesbian and moves to Vancouver.
Yo, Gabba Gabba! - Plex and the gang take Muno to a doctor to see why he has those huge bumps all over his body (with cameo by Hugh Laurie).
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